This is where you'll find all my blog posts. I hope you enjoy!

 
Website header.png

Articles

Rather an eclectic mix of Health, Travel and Fun posts...... because that what life should be about!


That's the question I'd like to ask you.

Before you thought you should be a good girl, nice, quiet, shy, intelligent, professional, responsible, pretty, loud, accomplished, small, big, overweight, skinny, who were you?

Who did you want to be? Can you even remember?


When we're young and excited, it's easy to dream big, know what we want, and be convinced that we'll get it....then life happens. We get responsibilities and beliefs that drag us down; pretty soon we forget who we want to be. And I don't mean what job or roles; I mean personally, what do you want?


Of course, you might not even know any longer, or maybe you can only think of reasons why you can't ...


I'm overweight

Old/not attractive

Don't have enough money

Made the wrong decisions earlier in life that can't be changed.


I had those too; at that time, I was twenty years younger than I am now.


  • I'm overweight - I was, and that's because I was using food as a reward/defence/comfort

  • I'm not attractive/old - I wasn't, and that's because I thought that way; attractive doesn't have to mean physical beauty; it can be internal too.

  • I don't have enough money - I didn't. That's because I was unhappy and spending to escape my feelings.

  • I made wrong decisions that can't be changed - Those decisions don't have to define me, and even if I made them in the past, I can always change my future.


Who am I now?

  • I'm a 52 (almost 53) year old who followed a dream to live abroad

  • I'm a person who tries things and doesn't worry about failing

  • I'm a person who doesn't comply with stereotypes about age or size

  • I'm a person who's learning to let go of all the stupid beliefs she had in her head about being unworthy

What about you....who do you want to be?


#selfesteem #selflove #Iamenough






I wish I _____________________(fill in the blank)


So, if you really wish you __________________ (fill in the blank) why haven't you?


Lack of...

Time

Money

Experience

Fitness

Size/Age


If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.


It's harsh but simple. Wishes are excuses.


Wishing takes the pressure off; it makes it feel like it's not down to you.

I know, I did a LOT of wishing.


I wish I wasn't so fat; I wish I could wear nice clothes and look pretty; I wish I had more time to do stuff for myself... It was a long list.


However, some of the things I wished for I made dam sure I achieved, despite tremendous obstacles. Money was a major one.


I travelled, and I mean travelled. Every year at least one long-haul destination and then at least 5 or 6 breaks closer to home. I had no money, yet I still managed to do it somehow...because it's what I wanted. So why couldn't I do the same for the rest of the things on my 'wish list'?


Underlying stories, self-limiting beliefs, false goals.


If you really want to achieve something, and I mean really, go for it. Put your heart and soul into it, and if there are genuine obstacles, work on ways to diminish them.


One of the best ways is - Ask for help. Tell the people about your dream and ask them to help you make it happen. Here's an example.


Louise has elderly parents. They live alone and need help quite a lot of the time. She would love to go on a cruise for her 50th birthday but doesn't want to leave her parents without any support.


Her narrative is

"I wish I could go on a cruise, but I can't go away for two weeks in case mum and dad need something."


That's understandable, but is it true?


Talk to Louise a little more, and you'll learn she has a brother who lives in Spain but doesn't visit because he's busy. Mum and dad say so.


Is that true? Go on, Louise, ask him. Tell him it's your 50th birthday in July (because we all know brothers don't even know they have sisters most of the time). You want to go away, but you're concerned for your mum and dad. Ask him, could he come over?


Louise got her answer. Yes, he could, but he could only come for a week in September, not July. Ok, so maybe not the ideal solution, but a result all the same.


This might seem like a simple challenge, but this was a massive thing for Louise, who always put others first and didn't get time for herself.


And...She had a fantastic birthday cruise, so good, she plans to go again. Result!


Remember, there's never enough time. If you have a wish, and it's a real wish, make it happen.







#peoplepleasing #putyourselffirst #iwishfor


How amazing would it feel to live a life you've always dreamed of and not feel guilty for wanting more?


Here's how the conversation usually goes.....


"Life is just the same old drudge, day in day out, I'm never happy any more. How can I change that?"


Me: "Let me ask you a question, is that what you're telling yourself?

Do you believe everything you say is true?"

If we believe something to be true, that becomes our reality. If we focus on what we haven't got or what's wrong, guess what.....we're right.


If you're waiting for something to miraculously change, you'll be waiting a long time, but YOU can make it happen.

The first thing to remember is that happy is a feeling; you can't BE happy, you FEEL happy.


So with that in mind you can create a new way of thinking. Start with two simple thoughts....


What brings you joy

What do you appreciate


You may think that things will never change for you, your circumstances are fixed and there's no way out so you have to live with it. Or you may be stuck thinking I shouldn't want more; it's selfish; I have more than a lot of people and I should be happy with what I have.


But you do have a choice.


You can fight not being happy, feeling guilty for wanting more and giving up your dreams; you can also choose to change things....slowly.

I've been working with an extremely intelligent woman who was stuck. She hated where she lived, but she couldn't change that; it drained the life from her. She lived in constant battle, wanting more and feeling guilty for doing so. It affected everything she did; it also affected her self-esteem.

She'd lived like it for over ten years and could see no way out, until we tried a different approach. Instead of feeling guilty and sad, she saw her circumstances as a learning opportunity. Then, she started making small changes in her way of living and thinking.


⭐️ First, she accepted where she was. It's not perfect, but that's ok.

⭐️ Then, she thought about what she COULD change to improve it.

⭐️ Next, she took those things from her list and started to make her changes one by one.

That's it...no secret formula; it's simple and effective.

She still lives in the same place and will do for some time, but she's changed her life to be filled with things that light her up, and I'm very, very proud of her.



#change #midlife